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I see fear. It has begun its creeping, spreading, all consuming journey through my body into my head. I turn away quickly not wanting to acknowledge it and step into the tub. I spend a very long time bathing, shaving myself smooth by habit as Master David requires. I wash my hair with my favorite scented soap. I begin to relax a little, to convince myself that I will be OK. Stepping out of the tub I dry with the large soft towels provided. I apply the softening scented oil I have used for years. I let my long hair dry naturally in waves. Still wrapped in the fluffy towel, I apply a touch of my cologne. I move back into the bedroom and sit in the large leather chair. Looking over at the bars, I wonder at the design of this room. Why was it built? Have others been here before me? What happened to them? My mind once again begins to work overtime. I go back to the gate and try to look out, but can see nothing. I walk to the liquor cabinet and examine the wines. My favorites of course,. ’ ‘How’d it go?’ ‘John….?’ ‘Hi…just phoning to find out how the job went? Everything go ok….want to meet up tonight to go out and celebrate?’ Misha stood there leaning against the wall rubbing his face with his free hand, the voice of his friend in his right ear bringing him back to reality. ‘She’s gone…..’ A small silence from the other end of the phone and then John quietly asked, ‘Suzanne?….’ ‘Yeah gone….she left whilst I was away filming….back to New York.’ ‘Want to meet up tonight?’ ‘Yeah….’ Putting down the phone and walking into his bedroom he stopped at the door, the pain starting in his heart as he saw the open wardrobe, gaps where her clothes used to be. Drawers were open and the top of the dressing table, usually covered in her mess of makeup and bottles of perfume was now empty. The simple proof of his loss started the tears to fall, and he sunk down on the edge of the bed and cried. Cried for himself, cried for her and for what he wished for and planned for that would.
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